So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
