DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Mom said you looked used
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
