i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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