I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I understand Curling. That high.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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