We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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