hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
