White coat. Heels.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
