I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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