Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Houston, we have a blender
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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