Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
