Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
