When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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