not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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