Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
