OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
