last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
