Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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