Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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