? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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