Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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