Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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