honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
