Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
