i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
