Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
