Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Less talking, more tequila
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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