So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
