Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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