brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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