I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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