I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
