i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
