THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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