no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
