If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
