Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
