Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
