scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
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