You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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