yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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