omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
