glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
