Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Randomize
