Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
