Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's blow job season.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
