You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
