If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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