ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
