All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
