just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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