Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
