what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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